On Humbling as a Maturing Process

Wheat ready for harvest bows its head. 
- Confucian proverb

It is said that maturity and the level of self-knowledge coincide. The more we know of ourselves, the more mature we are. It is then a no surprise that the youth do not know themselves. It is not an uncommon sight to see vainglorious boys thinking that they are more charming than they actually are, and girls over-appreciating  their beauty with an SD card full of perfectly angled selfies.

     The core of these childish behaviors is pride. Their pride propels them to think better of themselves than they actually are. Only through humility can one attain self-knowledge. Only by humbling ourselves do we recognize the flaws within us and recognize our strengths with objectivity. For this reason, among many, humility is a virtue. Of course, the more virtuous a person is, the more mature a person is; it is by virtue do we measure the growth of a person. Just pick a random middle-aged celebrity whose social life is like that of a high school student, lacking self-control and riddled with insecurities. Can we say that the celebrity is mature? Surely not.

     Now, I do not mean that immature people are always prideful. On the contrary, excessive submissiveness is a sign of immaturity also. I have seen that some of my peers are full of potential. But they would not put themselves out in the world, justifying inaction with awkwardness or shyness. It is appropriate to have better people stand above those who are lesser than them, but their excessive submissiveness would not have them recognize their true potential. In so many cases we see unqualified people leading due to their ego and qualified people working simple day jobs due to their submissiveness. It is the proper order of human society to have qualified people lead, not the other way around. But our vices do not allow us this ideal.

     Some people measure maturity by the stern character of an authority figure. This is false. It is a mark of a mature man to act like a fool, and convincingly so, to play with his toddler son. It is also the case that a mature man would play ignorant to let his students think on their own for a while. Thus, continuing on from the connection between self-knowledge, maturity, and humility, a mature person knows to be humble in appropriate conditions.

     This sort of maturity is shown by Socrates. He is fabled to be the wisest man in all of Greece, but he plays ignorant with his interlocutors. It may be the case that he really does not know, but it is clear that he can think better than all of his interlocutors. He may as well just shut them all up and lecture, but he does not. He lets them think. A man of clear authority, in this case, is humble.

     Suppose another example. Imagine a boy of 20 years old. He has an IQ of 140, has seen more of the world than most, came across more types of people than an average person, experienced more things than most people would in their lifetimes, and also learned in different fields relevant to human interactions. Through all these, he developed a talent of getting a good read on people quickly and knowing the correct course of action. He knows accurately the kind of people he ought to keep close for mutual benefit and the kind of people that he ought to avoid. This talent proved to be extremely reliable over time. People he gave trust to would flourish into great friendships whereas people he distrusted would lie, boast, manipulate, and even harm others in a criminal fashion. In this example, it is clear that it is only fitting that the boy takes a seat of authority, advising people on life matters as he sees fit. It is more fitting that people listen to him more so than others.

     Let's say that you are either this boy's peer of similar age or an adult of higher age. How seriously would you take his advice? If you are his peer of similar age, you will merely take his advice as a suggestion, not superior to your own opinion. It could also be the case that you take his advice less seriously than your own. If you are an adult of higher age, let's say above 30, you would be liable to dismiss the boy's sayings on the assumption that he is inexperienced, that he doesn't know what he's talking about. By consequence, you would disregard his advisement.

     So what would be the mature response by the boy? Assert himself uncompromisingly? No. He ought to bow his head and be humble. With his prudence he ought to know that nobody will take a 20 year old boy seriously, that nobody will recognize him as an authoritative figure he rightfully should be. He ought to know that he lacks the age and the social status to command people around. He also ought to know that, without the social recognition, people will be unhindered by his advice and be entrenched in their own opinions and the opinions of those they favor out of their stubbornness; people trust PhDs more so than the one who is not, even if the two's abilities are exactly the same. Even when he proves to be right almost all the time, he will go ignored. With this knowledge he would play ignorant and wait in patience, waiting for the day he would be recognized as an authoritative figure. Only then could he begin to see the results in people he advises. For the time being, he would tell noble lies and sugarcoat his words for the sake of others. In this display of humility assisted by patience and prudence would the boy display his maturity.

     But if the boy kicks and screams to get people to recognize him at such an early age, he would be acting immaturely. If you, reader, read yourself into the example I used, it may be the case that you are deceiving yourself out of immature pride. Or perhaps it is not the case. At any rate, the relationship between humility and maturity is explained.